Children,
Two weeks ago Nainai was able to struggle with a few steps of her morning TaiChi, she is too weak to do that now. She has lost the function of her swollen left hand now. She still insists on doing her own chores although she sometimes gets frustrated with the inability to do simple tasks like hand washing her own cloths.
Looking at Nainai now is like looking at two persons. The body is wrinkled and weak, losing weight by the weeks and slowly loosing part of her body functions. Her mind is strong and cheerful, she smiles often and her sense of humor remains. I will not forget the scene one morning, dragging her weak body to SiauGu’s room, opened the door and mimic the rooster crow to wake her up. She is grateful of visitors and has a deep sense that her life is well lived. She does not regret the past and worry about the future. She is prepared for death. Has made alterations to her will and stated her preference for funeral and wake arrangements. She told me that she plans to draw her last breath with a smile on her face, I am sure she will be.
Giving.
We often relate giving to donating money. Giving is much deeper than that. Nainai’s condition is a good opportunity for us to practice giving. Give her time, give her love, and give her the smoothing and tender moments of chanting and touching. You will experience the true meaning of happiness and realize that happiness spreads. Nainai feels happy of our giving and we experience the happiness of being able to do something for Nainai. Notice that this type of happiness is different from the type when you get a new toy or win a ball game. Notice the tenderness, the comfort in your heart and note that it lasts a long time. This type of giving, giving without expecting anything in return, is called kindness. It is nice to be kind.
Crying.
Many of us cry and it is okay to cry. I cried alone and in front of others, including Nainai. I feel much better after a good cry, after that I will get on with my life.
Death.
We do not often have an opportunity to see death and many do not like to talk about death. Nainai’s dying process is a good opportunity to see a love one dying. Dying is a natural life process, it is not something fearful. Sickness is painful but we have experienced occasional sickness since we were born. Dying can be peaceful and joyful. Nainai is a good teacher for our own eventual process. Everyone will face death but there is no guaranteeing that all will live to an old age. Live well now, treasure every moment now and be upright now. Look at the natural and manmade disasters occurring around the world, death is nearer than you thought. While we often pamper the senses of our body let’s not ignore the well-being of our mind.
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